Green and Pleasant Land

In this time of faltering economies, austerity, budget cuts and shrinking chocolate bars (most scandalous of all - especially when it comes to Twix's) , it is time that someone stood up and made a difference....

No more will the British economy struggle against the overwhelming tide of fiscal difficulties...
No more will the National debt rise by the price of a car every 3 seconds...
No more will Tesco value cookies be served with tea at UK Cabinet meetings...

I have decided to stop the tide, and bring money into this country, and take it from the evil marauding foreigners!!! (actually in my experience foreigners are not evil or marauding, they are actually quite cool, especially the female Eastern European ones with the blonde hair and the big boobies,  and those nations who spend half the summer having a massive tomato fight, and the other half having a siesta).

So how I will do this???
At poker!
Australians..!  You can come over here and try and take our Ashes away, you'll fail again, and we'll take you apart at Rugby on your own turf and I am gonna beat you at the felt and make your summer even worse!!
Russians..! You may own our football clubs, and have big yachts, but you'll be all at sea (see what I did there?) after you play me at poker!!
Italians..! You might all have suntans, and look cool in sunglasses, and have accents that beat anything on these shores (especially Birmingham - jeez), but sit down at a poker table, and you're nothing I tell you!
Thais..! Your curries are lovely, if an odd colour sometimes, and some of your ladies are lovely (though I can't understand the big hands and the 5 o'clock shadow??) but at poker it's over..!!
Isle Of Wightians..! You may be only a ferry ride away, but we all know about your evil plan to take over the world using different coloured sand, so I'm coming for you!!

So this is it. A single handed push to make Britain Great again.

Profit so far... $76.97. It's a start!!